I very seldom if ever write anything personal on BFP. However, this post was just something I had to write and share with you. I also must apologize for the title to this post. While life certainly doesn’t “suck”. What does is the loss of a friend at such a young age.
Three years ago, we knew life on this earth was certainly not forever. You see, my friend Doug Martin was told he had a very rare form of cancer and his chances of living a long life were not good. He was told he had multiple myeloma, a rare form of cancer which affects plasma cells in the blood. Doug was being treated by a specialists using stem cell therapy.
Before going to law school and embarking on a legal career, Doug was a Navy pilot. In fact, he flew on and off three aircraft carriers during his 30 plus years in the Navy. Something not a lot of people can say they have done.
During his years as a Navy Pilot, Captain Martin completed 187 jet carrier landings aboard the USS Lexington, USS Enterprise and USS Coral Sea, in A7s, TA4s and T2s. His career in the US Navy spanned a time from landing on aircraft carriers that saw duty in World War II to landing on nuclear powered aircraft carriers. The aircraft he flew ranged from propeller aircraft designed during WWII, to jet aircraft that saw duty into the 1990′s And to me this is just freaking amazing.
Doug was a husband to a wonderful wife and father of 4 children. Doug was proud of his children. In fact, there were many times when I was in his office arguing with him about a criminal case, he would talk about his kids. Doug was our county prosecutor at the same time I was still practicing law and doing criminal defense work.
Over the 8 years he was county attorney, we had many courtroom battles. However, we could usually (I say usually because one still gets pissed when they are beat in court sometimes), go back to his office and visit about other things in life. And I would be remiss if I did not say there were times Doug and I disagreed strongly on how he was handling a case which affected a client of mine. In fact, there were times we did not agree at all. I even disagreed with him so strongly on a couple of things that I campaigned for someone else against him after he was in office for four years. Interesting enough, Doug never held that against me. In fact, our friendship grew more after that election.
Doug was a very strong republican/conservative until sometime after he got sick. And to see that transformation was to say the least just a bit amazing to watch. It was funny to see how a man can change as Doug did. And what made it best was the fact we could sit in his living room or in his basement and have some great discussions about politics and life.
It was usually a weekly happening for me to get an email from Doug where I could almost sense he was yelling at me about something in the news. And usually it would include a line such as “can you believe this crap.” Not a question, but a statement from him.
I know being told you have cancer and there are only so many years, months, weeks and days left for you to enjoy life causes a man to reflect and see things differently then you have seen them before. And that was the case with Doug. He actually told me one day that he was most likely a closet democrat but just didn’t know it. This from a man who was even more conservative than I was.
All of his friends would agree, he worked to damn much. And today when another of Doug’s friends stopped by my house, we both agreed to that very fact. We both had told him numerous times he worked too much. But, that did stop him. In fact, he worked his butt off. There is a lesson in this for all of us. None of us should ever wish we could have spent more time in the office. And never let any of us regret the fact we did not spend enough time with our family and friends.
Doug was a good friend in both good and bad times. And a good friend who stuck by my side and supported me even in some of my darkest times. For that I will always be grateful.
We, Doug’s friends, knew this day would come. The problem is, it came so much quicker then any of us expected. And it came so quick. Doug knew he was in trouble again, but kept it pretty much to himself. Those close to him and who saw him from time to time saw it too. But, like most, I did not, nor would I say anything to him. He had life to live and why let a little something like cancer get in your way.
What I do regret is the fact over the last 3 weeks I have been fighting a freaking cold from hell. And with the type of cancer Doug had, fighting off colds and other illnesses were next to impossible. In fact, they could threaten his very life. So, I kept my distance and missed the time of playing cards with Doug and a couple of our other friends as we did from time to time. I missed the “guys movie night” too. And the chance to enjoy a glass of good red wine with him too. But, I certainly don’t regret the fact that Doug was a good friend and someone I grew to know and become even better friends with.
Like all of us, Doug also knew his days were really numbered. And he actually wrote his own obituary recently so his family did not have to. That is just how he was. Let me give you the last few lines of what he wrote.
He was blessed by a pefect Savior, a great wife, four wonderful children, loving parents, a great brother and wonderful sister, countless friends, and the opportunity to farm, fly U.S. Navy jets, and practice law in the county where he was born. He had a good life, was blessed by having a wonderful family and friends, and he enjoyed life greatly. He will miss his family and friends; he will miss the good days and the bad days.
by Douglas Fred Martin
Doug was born Sunday October 18, 1953 and died December 27, 2009. Too young my friend. You will be missed. And I am proud of the fact I can call you friend.
